Did you know:
- 57.19% of domestic violence charges in Ohio are intimate partner related
- Women experience 4.8 million intimate partner related physical assaults and rapes a year
Domestic/Dating Violence Legal Definition
Under Ohio law, domestic violence is “knowingly caused or attempted to cause physical harm to a family or household member.” Victims Services expands beyond this to assist with verbal, emotional, sexual and financial abuse. This can be perpetrated in relationships where the people are married or couples living together or dating (also called intimate partners). Persons who are separated or divorced or who used to live together or have a child together are all eligible for services. Same sex partners are also provided the same assistance and support.
Before the mid-1970’s, domestic violence was not often talked about. Abused women hid their bruises from others, felt they were very much to blame, and made excuses for the abuse. Most believed that it was a part of marriage, something that they had to endure. Although the abuse was then, like now, quite severe, it was better tolerated than the scandal of divorce or the horror of breaking up the family and, this, the problem was denied. The idea of women being “allowed” to leave their abusive husbands did not really begin to gain support until the 1970’s. Since that time, the public has become aware of the prevalence of violence within families. However, many myths about domestic violence still exist. The belief that battered women are crazy, masochistic, uneducated, or deserve to be beaten are unfortunately still believed by some people. Others think that an abused woman can just leave whenever she wishes, and that if she stays, then she must enjoy the abuse.
Battered women are often subjected to emotional abuse by their partners. They lose so much control over their own lives that they slowly begin to feel helpless. Many refer to this pattern of “learned helplessness” as the Battered Woman Syndrome. Signs are fear, anxiety, depression, shock, anger, guilty, humiliation, confused thinking, intrusive memories, uncontrolled re-experiencing of traumatic events, lack of trust, suspiciousness, rigidity, hyper-vigilance, and increased startle response to cues of possible violence.
The Cycle Theory
Studies with battered women have shown a cyclical pattern of battering which typically follows three phases of behavior on the part of the abuser, and is known as The Cycle Theory.
Phase 1: Tension-building stage. This is the “walking on egg shells” stage where the woman feels like she has to watch what she says and does, in fear of upsetting her abuser.
Phase 2: Explosive stage. This is the stage where the violence occurs.
Phase 3: Loving, Calm, “I’m Sorry” stage. This is the stage where the abuser may buy flowers and gifts, and continuously tells the woman how sorry he is for what he has done, that he can change, etc. Because Phase 3 is so loving and rewarding, the woman stays hoping that he will remain at this stage.
One of the scariest aspects about The Cycle Theory is that Phase 1 never goes back down to its original baseline level, meaning that it takes less tension for the explosion phase to happen. The phases happen more quickly as time goes on.
The battered woman many times has no money, no paying job, and no place to seek refuge. In this situation, the woman feels devastated and helpless and it is extremely difficult to leave the home environment. She begins to feel worthless and doomed. These overwhelming emotional problems contribute to why it is so difficult for her to leave. The woman also feels responsible for her relationship, that is it her job to change the abuser, and feels things can get better if she tries harder. The woman is put into the role of being the one responsible for the family life and home environment. She doesn’t want to fail at this, so she stays. Often times the abuser is loving and nice for a long period of time, which often confuses the battered woman about the abuse she is suffering from.
Common dynamics:
- The man has almost total authority and influence over the woman.
- The woman becomes isolated and develops low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, paranoia, and anger.
- The man reacts in rage and revenge, in fear of losing control over the woman.
- The woman does not want to be beaten so she concedes to his demands and influences.
